This thing called “Love”
(this is just me rambling, but……..enjoy it anyway)
Someone recently asked me what my definition of “Love” is. I think this is a very good question, not just for me but for everyone in general. BUT! Since I can’t answer for everyone I will give you my answer or close to my answer.
I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what love is. I think very few people do. Well not very few, but not alot. I look at todays society where people get married and divorced like the changing of underware. I have come to realize that society has lead me to believe that love is in the pants of another for one night or a week and then I must move on, or maybe love is that very expensive “Coach-SIGNATURE STRIPE WEEKEND TOTE that ran for $428 that I saw a few weeks ago and had to have. No wait, Love is in the over processed face of that girl I saw crossing the street or the six pack of that guy in the gym. Hey, or MAYBE its with that online person I was chatting with for 2hrs and NOW- I am TOTALLY in love!!!
Is it society that has fucked up my vision of love or is it me because I knew it was wrong. However, I let it happen. I blame myself! It’s not like my family constantly said/says I love you to each other, we don’t! People think that just because you don’t say it, those other people still know it - you just show it in different ways-BULLSHIT!-If you can love you can say it, no matter what. I am very guilty of this myself. I decided at a young age I would break that chain and try to express it more(by “it” I mean “the love”) Who knew how hard it would be and is!!! This is a struggle I will probably never conquer, but I will damn sure die trying. hahaha- To die loving!!!!
On my quest to LOVE more, I have come to some road blocks. It seems the people who need love the most, don’t want it, and will mess up your quest just to make theirs of non-loving negativity better. Thats when I ask myself do I give up and just move on to the next person or keep trying and hope that some day that person will love you the way that you love them. Today I realized that those people do not love themselves so how can they ever see the love that you have for them. I don’t mean the bumping ugly’s love, I mean the actual caring for another person love, on whatever level it may be. From my observations you can only love that person the way you know how and someday, SOMEDAY, they will see it. Without a shadow of a doubt, they will eventually see it, but at that point your love is so big and fulfilling that they can hopefully join in and carry on the journey in their own new way. I know that people try to find love in every different way possible, but I am realizing that you can’t find love, love just is, it happens without you knowing it.
I have parents(3 moms and 2 dads) 2 aunts, 5 neices and nephews, 2 godsons(with the same damn name) 3 little cousins, that i helped raise, a dance family, who I love with every breath of my heart and would give my life for in less than a milli second of a heartbeat. What most people don’t realize is I would actually do that for absolutely everyone. Is that love? Or is that just considerate. I think everyones looking for “love” in someway or another. “Love” is not what you want it to be, “love” is what it is.
I have a married couple of friends who never have I seen 2 people who actually belong together in my life. That actually fit each other like a puzzle. I can see when they look into each others eyes, what love is and should be. I can only hope that someday I will find love like that, until then I am happy not only loving myself but trying to love everyone else:)
