Jaymez World

Can someone tell me when we decided to use words that once meant one thing and turned them into something TOTALLY different. By that, I mean words such as……….um, let me see: tight, hot, gay. This may see like a stupid subject to even touch for most people, but there is a specific reason I bring this up.
 
   Gay: by definition once meant:

I have noticed that people use this word in everyday conversation like its the word, “THE”. People have taken this word and made it something negative and slanderish. I happened to be in the gym locker room changing the other day and I over heard two guys talking about having arguments with there girlfriends. The one chap told the other, “Yeah, I told her to stop acting gay” What the hell does that mean? I hear people use this word all the time. How can one act gay? If your meaning as in the homosexual definition, then are you saying that person, lets say man, happens to care for another man or men(whomever you may be) TOO MUCH. Did that guys girlfriend have to much of a lively mood(definition 1) while arguing? 

oh yes let me not forget the last definition in the dictionary:

What is a gay manner? does that mean feminine, because if it does, I know PLENTY of straight men who are just as feminine, NO! oh wait they have a new word for that!-METROSEXUAL!

I know this one is just slang, I just thought I would use this one as an example because someone said it to me yesterday and I am still confused.

(this is just me rambling, but……..enjoy it anyway)

Someone recently asked me what my definition of “Love” is. I think this is a very good question, not just for me but for everyone in general. BUT! Since I can’t answer for everyone I will give you my answer  or close to my answer.

                I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what love is.  I think very few people do. Well not very few, but not alot. I look at todays society where people get married and divorced like the changing of underware. I have come to realize that society has lead me to believe that love is in the pants of another for one night or a week and then I must move on, or maybe love is that very expensive “Coach-SIGNATURE STRIPE WEEKEND TOTE that ran for $428 that I saw a few weeks ago and had to have. No wait, Love is in the over processed face of that girl I saw crossing the street or the six pack of that guy in the gym. Hey, or MAYBE its with that online person I was chatting with for 2hrs and NOW- I am TOTALLY in love!!!
     
            Is it society that has fucked up my vision of love or is it me because I knew it was wrong. However, I let it happen. I blame myself! It’s not like my family constantly said/says I love you to each other, we don’t! People think that just because you don’t say it, those other people still know it - you just show it in different ways-BULLSHIT!-If you can love you can say it, no matter what. I am very guilty of this myself. I decided at a young age I would break that chain and try to express it more(by “it” I mean “the love”) Who knew how hard it would be and is!!! This is a struggle I will probably never conquer, but I will damn sure die trying. hahaha- To die loving!!!!

                  On my quest to LOVE more, I have come to some road blocks. It seems the people who need love the most, don’t want it, and will mess up your quest just to make theirs of non-loving negativity better. Thats when I ask myself do I give up and just move on to the next person or keep trying and hope that some day that person will love you the way that you love them. Today I realized that those people do not love themselves so how can they ever see the love that you have for them. I don’t mean the bumping ugly’s love, I mean the actual caring for another person love, on whatever level it may be. From my observations you can only love that person the way you know how and someday, SOMEDAY, they will see it. Without a shadow of a doubt, they will eventually see it, but at that point your love is so big and fulfilling that they can hopefully join in and carry on the journey in their own new way. I know that people try to find love in every different way possible, but I am realizing that you can’t find love, love just is, it happens without you knowing it.

                      I have parents(3 moms and 2 dads) 2 aunts, 5 neices and nephews, 2 godsons(with the same damn name) 3 little cousins, that i helped raise, a dance family, who I love with every breath of my heart and would give my life for in less than a milli second of a heartbeat. What most people don’t realize is I would actually do that for absolutely everyone. Is that love? Or is that just considerate.   I think everyones looking for “love” in someway or another. “Love” is not what you want it to be, “love” is what it is. 
 
                                            I have a married couple of friends who never have I seen 2 people who actually belong together in my life. That actually fit each other like a puzzle. I can see when they look into each others eyes, what love is and should be. I can only hope that someday I will find love like that, until then I am happy not only loving myself but trying to love everyone else:)