Jaymez World

So almost a year ago, I made a vow that I Was determined to get a better stomach- ACTUALLY I should have just  said body, but thats a different story! Anyway, I recently remembered this blog while going threw some of my old ones and I thougth I would update on that.

http://jaymezedward.blog.com/1605070/    <— the old blog

In June I started to jog while in between rehearsals. Once that was over I would jog up and down the streets of Beckley . I am sure everyone saw me. I would be in the grocery store and people would say, your the guy that jogs up and down kanawha all the time. Who knew you could get famous from JOGGING!!

Anywhom, it soon became to cold to jog outside, so I finally broke down and got a membership to the “Y”. Probably the best thing I could have ever done. If you know me you know I spend my life in the gym. I love the gym, which is funny considering I hated it before I moved here.

As far as that ab Lounger, I have not touched it in like 2 months. Not because of the gym, I just forget I have it and I dont feel like getting on the damn thing. However, I do have an array of new small work out equipment I like to use, if i can remember I have it.

Anyway, thats my update! and here is a picture

I am happy with the progress no matter how slow.

(yet again, another rambling)

Can someone tell me when we decided to use words that once meant one thing and turned them into something TOTALLY different. By that, I mean words such as……….um, let me see: tight, hot, gay. This may see like a stupid subject to even touch for most people, but there is a specific reason I bring this up.
 
   Gay: by definition once meant:

1.	having or showing a merry, lively mood: gay spirits; gay music.

2.	bright or showy: gay colors; gay ornaments.

3.	given to or abounding in social or other pleasures: a gay social season. and also as we all know its known as 4. a homosexual person, esp. a male.

I have noticed that people use this word in everyday conversation like its the word, “THE”. People have taken this word and made it something negative and slanderish. I happened to be in the gym locker room changing the other day and I over heard two guys talking about having arguments with there girlfriends. The one chap told the other, “Yeah, I told her to stop acting gay” What the hell does that mean? I hear people use this word all the time. How can one act gay? If your meaning as in the homosexual definition, then are you saying that person, lets say man, happens to care for another man or men(whomever you may be) TOO MUCH. Did that guys girlfriend have to much of a lively mood(definition 1) while arguing? 

                When did being gay become a bad thing? Why is being GAY(def. 4) all of a sudden funny? Being straights not funny, being homeless is not funny, being asains not funny.

(p.s. why is it such a big thing when a gay(homosexual) person comes around its such a big deal-He’s Gay! WTF-who cares! Gay people are not trash, toys, tokens, or statues. but I digress!)
     I am pretty sure at least more than half homosexual(gay) men do not go around day to day saying,”Oh, god I had to smack that bitch for being to straight!”(sorry thats the best one I can come up with at 7am)

oh yes let me not forget the last definition in the dictionary:

-in a gay manner

What is a gay manner? does that mean feminine, because if it does, I know PLENTY of straight men who are just as feminine, NO! oh wait they have a new word for that!-METROSEXUAL!

Does it mean butt sex!-”His mannerisms are like one who has butt sex”-REALLY?

Does it mean eccentric- Last time I checked the word eccentric out in the dictionary, it meant
someone unusual, not normal(whatever normal may be)

I’m done on that word I could go on for hours but I won’t, I think you get my point.

———————————————————————————————————
Tight:

1.	firmly or closely fixed in place; not easily moved; secure: a tight knot.

2.	drawn or stretched so as to be tense; taut.

3.	affording little or no extra room; fitting closely, esp. too closely: a tight collar.

4.	difficult to deal with or manage: to be in a tight situation.

5.	of such close or compacted texture, or fitted together so closely, as to be impervious to water, air, steam, etc.: a good, tight roof.

6.	concise; terse: a tight style of writing.

7.	firm; rigid: his tight control of the company.

8.	carefully arranged or organized and full; affording little leeway; compact: a tight schedule.

9.	nearly even; close: a tight race.

What does it mean when someone says” Oh yeah That shit was tight?”
                  No really what does it mean, I have no idea!-I can’t even continue with that word because I have no idea what that means!

I know this one is just slang, I just thought I would use this one as an example because someone said it to me yesterday and I am still confused.

(this is just me rambling, but……..enjoy it anyway)

Someone recently asked me what my definition of “Love” is. I think this is a very good question, not just for me but for everyone in general. BUT! Since I can’t answer for everyone I will give you my answer  or close to my answer.

                I have come to the conclusion that I have no idea what love is.  I think very few people do. Well not very few, but not alot. I look at todays society where people get married and divorced like the changing of underware. I have come to realize that society has lead me to believe that love is in the pants of another for one night or a week and then I must move on, or maybe love is that very expensive “Coach-SIGNATURE STRIPE WEEKEND TOTE that ran for $428 that I saw a few weeks ago and had to have. No wait, Love is in the over processed face of that girl I saw crossing the street or the six pack of that guy in the gym. Hey, or MAYBE its with that online person I was chatting with for 2hrs and NOW- I am TOTALLY in love!!!
     
            Is it society that has fucked up my vision of love or is it me because I knew it was wrong. However, I let it happen. I blame myself! It’s not like my family constantly said/says I love you to each other, we don’t! People think that just because you don’t say it, those other people still know it - you just show it in different ways-BULLSHIT!-If you can love you can say it, no matter what. I am very guilty of this myself. I decided at a young age I would break that chain and try to express it more(by “it” I mean “the love”) Who knew how hard it would be and is!!! This is a struggle I will probably never conquer, but I will damn sure die trying. hahaha- To die loving!!!!

                  On my quest to LOVE more, I have come to some road blocks. It seems the people who need love the most, don’t want it, and will mess up your quest just to make theirs of non-loving negativity better. Thats when I ask myself do I give up and just move on to the next person or keep trying and hope that some day that person will love you the way that you love them. Today I realized that those people do not love themselves so how can they ever see the love that you have for them. I don’t mean the bumping ugly’s love, I mean the actual caring for another person love, on whatever level it may be. From my observations you can only love that person the way you know how and someday, SOMEDAY, they will see it. Without a shadow of a doubt, they will eventually see it, but at that point your love is so big and fulfilling that they can hopefully join in and carry on the journey in their own new way. I know that people try to find love in every different way possible, but I am realizing that you can’t find love, love just is, it happens without you knowing it.

                      I have parents(3 moms and 2 dads) 2 aunts, 5 neices and nephews, 2 godsons(with the same damn name) 3 little cousins, that i helped raise, a dance family, who I love with every breath of my heart and would give my life for in less than a milli second of a heartbeat. What most people don’t realize is I would actually do that for absolutely everyone. Is that love? Or is that just considerate.   I think everyones looking for “love” in someway or another. “Love” is not what you want it to be, “love” is what it is. 
 
                                            I have a married couple of friends who never have I seen 2 people who actually belong together in my life. That actually fit each other like a puzzle. I can see when they look into each others eyes, what love is and should be. I can only hope that someday I will find love like that, until then I am happy not only loving myself but trying to love everyone else:)

     Yes, it has been a while! I never realized how busy I was until a friend informed me that I needed to write more. So, I am going to write more, starting today. I tried to do this write a blog a day thing but it never really worked out. WHATEVA!
   So, now its Dec and alot of things have changed. Well, not alot, more mental then physical. My last summer with the outdoor drama company made me realize alot of things about myself and growing up. Its hard being an adult, especially an adult with bills and living on your own. I hated those people who’s parents paid for everything, there cars, apartemtns,food, whatever it may be. But, then I realized that I was the one who is fortunate. They will never have the satisfaction of knowing how if feels to pay a bill and know that you worked your ass off to pay that bill. Not mommy and daddy. To buy clothes and food, knowing the money your spending was not given to you just because.
   The older I get the harder it is to work with anyone under the age of 30, well not anyone, just most. Not in the actual profession that i am in , but in my side jobs like serving and retail. I am not one to be bossy(ha-ha) but I think the trend now is to not think of the entire consequence of an action before you do it, and then complain about it after you have done it and something stupid has come of it. I know that people have different ways of dealing with things either good or bad, but to go to work, where other people depend on you to pull your weight and be under the influence of something is wrong. Not anymore, but a while back, I had to deal with this almost every time I worked, and did not know how. Co-workers coming in sloppy and high or doped up from some pill, and it was hard, very hard. I think I have learned that if this person or people feel like they need to do this, then so be it. BUT, I am not the one to pull your slack and be your helping hand. The other people have a hard enough time doing there job, let alone add your problems onto it. If you feel like you can’t come to work without being on something, well then maybe you need to get another job. Life is hard already! Not a bad hard, just hard. (Woah that seemed like some pint up anger somewhere!)
——This is just the beginning!!
         I have come to realize that life IS really what you make of it. You do only live once. I’m not saying goo out there and go skiing and ski-diving. What I am saying is its YOUR life and if you want to be happy, YOU have to make yourself happy. No one else can! People say life is short, but its not. Life is short for people who die early(which technically is out of our control), but anyway, life is long and can be truely amazing. You have to remember that once a moment is gone you can’t get it back- so why not make the best of it! —I was going to write more but I changed my mind-ENJOY!

Yes, I know it been a while since I have written a blog- MONTHS for that matter.  Well, its been a long, trying, yet prosperous summer. We opened all three showes including “GREASE”(which I absolutely love)

                    The dance company did several performances at the beginning of the summer in Charleston and Huntington. We actually have a myspace page now!!!

                          Lots of events, including an injury, rainouts, lightning storms, drama(no surprise) and a couple of soon to be love stories. This blog is short only becuase I cannot get into detail all of the events because i am just that lazy with typing. Anywho, this is the start of many more blogs to come, and just wanted to break the ice again.

 

 

Its funny the things kids say. Today we danced at a elementary school. Now, I know that alot of these kids have never seen dance before, so this is a new experience. In one of our dances “ASIA” we all wear the same type of costume. A type of asain influnced costume. Well, my shirt is longer than the other male dancer in the company due to my gigantic butt.  Anyway, as we were walking in to do the peice for the first show, one random little boy, ask “ARE YOU WEARING A DRESS?” I wanted to say NO, you little bastard its a long shirt, BUT I did’nt. It was funny if anything. I just ignored him and laughed to myself.

The second show, one of our dancers became ill and we had to cut and paste the show to make up for a missing dancer, so we ended with the same peice Asain peice (we usually don’t). Well, as we are ending the peice I noticed a little boy maybe 4yrs old, with his hand up wanting to ask a question or so I thought. Well we ended the show and the had closing remarks, rolled the floor up and tried to hurry to leave and beat the buses. As we are putting the floors in their bags I notice the little boy STILL has his hand up, so I decide to see what he wants. I walked over to him and asked did he have a question, and he looks at me and says in the deepest voice( especially for a 4 yr old) “I really liked your show!”-I don’t know if I was more in shock because of his voice or because he actually told me that. So after I said thank you I told him I like his hat (which was a blue some sort of hat) and again in the deepest voice he says Thank You!

 

 

This was before they made my shirt

I recently had the chance to see a dance performance (AN ACTUAL PROFESSIONAL DANCE PERFOMANCE, other than the company that I belong to) here in WV this weekend. River North Chicago is the name of the company I think.

        Anywho, while there an interesting thing happened that made me want to give this woman the mother of the year award. The company was in the middle of performing on stage, and I happened to hear this noise. I look around to see where it is coming from. In front of me were 2 older ladies, probably mid 40’s early 50 talking. In the seats next to them were 4 little boys in a row, ranging from the ages of 5-12 and their mother. The oldest of the children was the fortunate one to be seated next to the talkers, anyway I digress. I hear this noise of the ladies talking or so I thought. As I am abou to look back at the performance, I see th elittle boy slightly turn his head and I hear- shhhh(slightly). WHAT- Did that just come from that little boy?( I am thinking). Again, I hear SHHHH(a little louder)OMG this little boy is shhing these ladies(I continue to think), and the lady next to him turns and looks at this little boy. At this moment the little boy puts his finger to his mouth and shhhhs this lady louder. I was in absolute shock. Needless to say, the woman shut up. At that moment I was very pruod of that little boys mom, for actuaklly teaching him that it is not acceptable to be rude and speak during performances- at  least as loud as these ladies were. Not only because of that but also because she brought her four boys to a dance perfomance, and the bouys were very interested in what was going on, on that stage. It was as if she was showing her boys it’s acceptable to do absolutely anything you want, and real men do dance, not the stereo-type that society has given us.

ANYWAY, as far as those two ladies? After intermission the mom sat once chair down from the two ladies with the boys on the other side, and the ladies did not peep the rest of the performance.

I think todays society has totally lost the concept of …..well just life in general. It has come to my attention that people just don’t give a shit anymore. Believe me I am not excluding myself whatsoever, but we are not talking about me.

We have poeple out here like Paris Hilton who has all the money in the world, has not worked a day in her life, Yet she is a role modeling for kids. She says what she wants and does what she wants. WHere is that acceptable and COOL! Where is our society going? Britney Spears has completely gone AWOL. Where did the world go wrong with her. Lindsey Lohan is an confused alcoholic, but has SO much talent, and does nto even know who she is. Public fiqures calling people fags ON NATIONAL TELEVISION. I mean SERISOULY. Whatever happened to people like Judy Garland(who kept there private life-PRIVATE) Doris Day, and oddly enough James Dean- as crazy as he was- (most people have spent there lives and money making assumptions about him)

Whatever happened to be kind to your fellow man. I don’t think people really realize, the things we say to each other sometimes CAN hurt that person. There is a difference between being mean to help someone(which can actually happen, such as an intervention or such) and being mean just for means sake. I think this is where alot of complexes come from. To make matters worse, the one that does the insulting gets a response and then everyones getting angry and is ready to fight

Being mean to help someone is NOT actually being mean its being helpful, and I don’t mean thathelpful where you tell someone “OH GOD THAT SHIRT IS HIDIOUS!’ because that is not being helpful, that is being mean(funny, but mean). I am very guilty of that one. But, to say something to someone in a way that is demeaning and degrading is wrong. No matter how funny it is. I am not really goign to get into much detail or I will just end up going off, basically what I am trying to say is-Careful the things you say.

ok- I don’t know about anyone else- but this time change thing BLOWS!! And I mean like the wind! a strong angry gust of wind, you know the kind that happens before a tornado.

But I digress, For as long as I can rememeber even as a child, Turning the hour ahead has always screwed me up mentally and physically. Its something about losing that hour that makes my body go backwards. I guess, its just trying to catch that extra hour it lost. I don’t know.

Because of this WONDERFUL time change, not only is it harder for me to get up in the morning, but I wake up a million times during the night wondering if I am late for rehearsal or call or ANYTHING!! My body aches differently than it usually does, things hurt that are just random. Now I know alot of you are going ot say:” IT”S ALL A PART OF GETTING OLDER”, and I say to you- blow me! It’s not!! It’s also harder to get to sleep at night. My mind is still racing 100 miles a minute, so I have to light a candle and really concentrate on clearing it, with works-SOMETIMES. Others I just lay there and count to……………………….

Anyway, It usually takes about a week for everything to kick in or for me to KICK it in!

p.s. I also forgot to say that it feels like the day is NEVER GOING TO END!!!!

 It’s only Tuesday and feels like Friday

 

 

I have recently had a stare-down with myself in the mirror and have come to the conclusion that I need a tighter more sexy stomach. NOt only for the ladies(hahahahaha) but I just really want to feel better about myself. I think I eat pretty healthy but apprently thats not enough.

 SUPPOSEDLY, your supposed to exercise also. I have had this ab lounger since Feb, its worked a little but its also hard when your on tour alot and I REALLY don’t so enough sit-ups in rehearsal and class. SO this is my legal documentation, signed with blood. I will and am determined to do this, and within six weeks. THERE WILL BE A CHANGE.

Six weeks from now if I rememeber to do this. If there is no change I personaly give you permission to come and stab me in the eye